Me: Mirror, Mirror at the gym...how fit am I?
Mirror: Well, go run a mile and report back with your time
Me: *huff* 8 *puff* minutes *drink of water* 36 *36 what, what, what?*
Mirror: Fine, that's ok- almost a minute off your previous time. Now drop and give me push ups to failure
Me: 25 *roll over on back and sigh*
Mirror: That's it. Well, I see strength training in your future. Now plank position and hold
Me: *dead drop at 1 minute 30 seconds*
Mirror: Fair, but not the fairest. I want to see some squats. Butt down, down, down
Me: 37 *ouch*
Mirror: There's work to do- now stand there like a stork, balance, balance, uh practice that when you are brushing your teeth-lie down and show me the hand-to-toe pose.
Me: @ minus 45 degrees
Mirror: *shaking head* I have noticed your absence at yoga...
Me: Mirror, Mirror...what should I do?
Mirror: Go find the CrossFit Master named Jake at Outer Edge
...a week later. I'm perpetually sore. This is quite a bit off-trail for me, but a fun new adventure. Stay tuned.